25 Moms Share Their Most Hilariously Embarrassing Childbirth Moment, And I Can’t Catch My Breath

25 Moms Share Their Most Hilariously Embarrassing Childbirth Moment, And I Can’t Catch My Breath

Updated 15 minutes ago. Posted 5 hours ago

“For some reason, every time I had a contraction, I recited dialogue from Harry Potter.”

A while back, we asked moms in the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the funniest thing that happened during their childbirth. Here are the most memorable responses, along with a few new ones from the comments section from moms who had some hilariously embarrassing childbirth experiences themselves:

1.

“I was in back labor the majority of my labor, and I was in a lot of pain. Well, when it was time to push, I screamed, ‘Push her back in! I feel like she’s coming out of my butt! I’M HAVING A BUTT BABY!'”


NBC

2.

“During my childbirth, I accidentally howled like a coyote.”

—Jesi Nau, Facebook

3.

“When I had my son, I tried to tell the doctor I had gas, but he said, ‘Oh, it’s just pressure from the baby.’ Well, as soon as he slipped his hand in to check my cervix, I farted so loudly it sounded like furniture scooting across the floor!”

—Kiersten Keke Cherry, Facebook

4.

“I received several different drugs for pain relief and was so delirious that I was basically passing out between contractions. Well, when one of the contractions hit, I jerked awake and said, ‘Hugh Jackman naked!'”


NBC

“My husband responded, ‘I’m sorry, what?’ and I replied, ‘I was going to see a movie where he is naked in the first scene and I was late so I thought I missed it!’ He asked, ‘Well, did you miss it?’ I mumbled ‘No,’ and promptly fell back asleep.”

marieb7

5.

“We went for an early morning walk to get labor started, and my water broke. The combination of warm water and the crisp, frosty morning made my crotch start STEAMING…”

“My husband pointed and laughed for about ten minutes, and I had to waddle home wet and steaming.”

beckys4b302a3d6

6.

“For some reason, with my first child, every time I had a contraction, I recited Harry Potter dialogue.”

—Jessica Christineth, Facebook

7.

“We were headed to the hospital, and we got stuck behind a school bus. I was screaming my head off in pain, when I looked up and saw all the kids on the bus staring at me, terrified!”


NBC

8.

“For some reason, during my contractions I kept saying the name ‘Joe’ — which is not my husband’s name — and that ‘the mailman would be so happy’. For the record, I do not know a mailman named ‘Joe.'”

“Thankfully, my husband has a sense of humor.”

—Nicole Doutaz, Facebook

9.

“The hottest doctor I’d ever seen came in to check my cervix, and then he stood up and said, ‘She’s got quite a lot of hair!’ I was enraged, because I hadn’t seen my feet in weeks, let alone had time to trim up down there! After my rage subsided, I realized he was referencing my baby’s hair, not my vagina.”

stephaniec41db30bf3

10.

“I was pushing when some old guy in shorts and a cardigan walked into my birthing suite. I yelled, ‘Get the fuck out, old man!’…only for my midwife to inform me that he was actually the obstetrician. My bad.”


CBC

11.

“They gave me Fentanyl when I was having my first baby, and — obviously very high — I whispered to my husband, ‘I don’t like the drugs, but the drugs like me.'”

—Lisamarie Blackcloud Fragua, Facebook

12.

“I was having a really bad contraction and going, ‘mmmmm’, but as the contraction got more intense, it became, ‘mmmmMOOO’. I literally mooed. Like a cow.”

maddiec49bdbe126

13.

“After my epidural, I started singing the Doc McStuffins song — ‘I feel better, so much better, thank you Doc for taking all my ouchies away!'”


E! Entertainment Television

—Kari D’Amico, Facebook

14.

“My first baby was a home birth, and things progressed unexpectedly fast. My husband opened the front door to see if our midwives had arrived yet, revealing me screaming through contractions in the background…and our future neighbors looking at the house for sale across the street, who definitely heard me.”

—Kathryn True, Facebook

15.

“I received Demerol while delivering my first child, and I found out from my brother-in-law a few months later that I had apparently taken a walk down the hall of the hospital BUTT NAKED!”

“I had no memory of it, but the rest of my family definitely did!”

—Cindy Comeau, Facebook

16.

“It was after midnight and I was in the middle of a home birth in our third floor apartment. The baby had just started crowning when there was a knock at our door. To our complete shock, it was a COP! One of my neighbors had made a noise complaint!”


Lifetime

“When my sister-in-law told him I was having a baby, he left, mortified.”

kristinscaddens

17.

“During labor I told my husband I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted to go home. He asked, ‘What about the baby?’ and I said we could just borrow one from the nursery.”

“The midwives watched me like a hawk after that comment.”

—Joanne Milkins, Facebook

18.

“I found out the hard way that demerol makes me hallucinate when I grabbed my husband’s arm after a contraction and told him, ‘We have to leave this planet. It’s gone barren.'”

joyb4975e328b

19.

“I’d been given laughing gas, and it caused me to grope my mom’s breasts, laughing and saying, ‘Ha ha, boobies!'”


TvLand

20.

“After 11 hours of labor, I heard my midwife say, ‘That’s a nasty tear,’ and I looked at her, confused, and asked, ‘You ripped the bed sheet?'”

“No — I ripped myself a new one!”

—Megg Ann, Facebook

21.

“The drugs for my C-section wore off beforehand and the doctors gave me Ketamine so I wouldn’t remember anything. Well, my husband said my pupils dilated, and then when the anesthesiologist asked me how I felt, for some reason, I just said, ‘White.'”

“Then, apparently I started asking for waffles while the surgeons were elbow-deep in my torso.”

maryannefaignants

22.

“I had just gotten an epidural, and my husband was holding my hand, when he brought it up to his face to kiss it. Apparently I then grabbed his nose between my fingers and said, ‘I got your nose!'”


Paramount Pictures

23.

“I screamed to my nurses, ‘Just euthanize me!'”

erikab19

24.

“After receiving my epidural, I put my hand on my own thigh, gasped, and asked my mother, ‘Is that you? You’ve got to tell me what lotion you use!’ She almost peed herself laughing.”

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25.

“I had a long labor, and my mom came to my side to give my husband a break. During a particularly bad contraction, she told me it was going to be OK and that it would be over soon. I yelled back, ‘You have no idea what this feels like!'”


CBS

“She had a pretty good laugh about that.”

elliesmom

What about you? Did something hilariously embarrassing happen to you during childbirth? Tell us about it in the comments section, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!

Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.

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