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Antiperspirant wipes to keep your pits much drier than usual. Besides making you feel a little (or a lot) self-conscious, being sweaty just feels BAD!
No-tie shoelaces so you can completely avoid the possibility of tripping on an untied shoelace. Been there a million times and do not feel stronger for it.
Some gas-neutralizing pads that are said to eradicate toot smells, so if you’re planning on eating a lot of beans for lunch at your desk that is VERY close to other desks…perhaps invest?
A classic beanie to throw on if you’re having a bad hair day that just can’t be fixed. You’re not hiding an out-of-control cowlick, you’re just a hip, cool person who happens to have cold ears.
An ink remover so if your favorite pen has the gall to explode on your favorite shirt, you don’t have to grin and bear it.
A pack of Mighty Patches to have on-hand just in case you start getting a veritable unicorn horn on your forehead the night before a big presentation. Just pop on a sticker and it’ll suck all that pus and sebum out of your whitehead overnight.
A Squatty Potty so if you have to go number two while people are over, you’re not given away by being in the bathroom for forever and a half.
And Poo-Pourri to even further shield your guests’ noses from the smell of your deed. It’s a dinner party, for goodness sake.
A bra liner so you never have to worry about pooling boob sweat temporarily staining your shirt again. No matter the season, no matter the temperature…boob sweat seems to find me.
DressWeights to keep your hems from completely Marilyn Monroe-ing up, up, and away when there’s a breeze. This has happened to me too many times to count, and I’m permanently blushing because of it.
Non-slip shoe pads so you don’t slide about when wearing a new, slick pair of kicks. No need to tread lightly anymore!
A pet hair vacuum so when your parents come to visit your grown-up apartment they don’t have to ask for a blanket to put on your couch before sitting down to avoid all of the pet hair.
A sock-pairing device that’ll ensure you never have to wear mismatched socks ever again — unless that’s part of your ~quirky~ personal style, of course.
Some charcoal shoe deodorizers so when you go to a friend’s house and they ask you to take off your shoes, you can comply without being nervous about the impending Big Stink.
A foot file to avoid making a *scraaaaape* noise against the sheets while snuggling with your boo. Them: “What was that?” You: “My dead foot skin.”
A set of heel caps so you don’t drive your stilettos into the ground, trip, and fall at your own dang wedding.
Little packs of toilet paper you can pop in your bag to make absolutely certain you never have to have an Elaine Benes “Can you spare a square?” moment.
A stainless steel “soap” bar that will free your hands from the smell of onion and garlic after you chop, chop, chop them. All respect to onion and garlic, but nobody really wants a cloud of that tear-inducing smell around their digits.
Dandruff shampoo so you don’t need to be concerned with any flakes standing out or snowing onto your clothes. Everyone gets dandruff, but that doesn’t mean it’s fun.
A jetted tub cleaner so the next time you decide to run a ~steamy~ bath with someone (or for yourself, go off) goo doesn’t come out of those jets you love to run so much.
A pack of tooth wipes to use on stains that usually occur after a glass of red wine, coffee, or even tea. Simply rub the wipe on your teeth and voilà! Stains be gone!
A water mark-removing cloth so you never ever have to reveal to your parents that you’ve left several sweating glasses of water on the priceless table they passed on to you.
A tongue scraper to get that breath fresh as can be. Don’t let tongue gunk gross out the next person you close-talk to…or don’t close-talk in the first place! ¯_(ツ)_/¯
1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die so you can at least read up on flicks you’re “supposed” to know about instead of being like “Ummm yeah hah I don’t know that one,” every time someone tells you about their favorite movie.
These things may not cure you of ALL your embarrassment, but they sure can help!