Hey, Internet. Recently, I rewatched the pilot of one of my old favorite shows, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and shared my thoughts on it. A lot of you asked for me to cover more episodes. So, without further ado…here’s my take on Season 1, Episode 2!
So, Amy’s pregnant from her one-night stand at band camp with Ricky, but she’s apparently just going on with her life as usual. It’s fineeee, everything’s FINE.
God, of COURSE Ben’s two best friends would walk by while Madison and Lauren are gossiping. Mind your business, ALL OF YOU.
Jack is following Grace around begging for forgiveness after he cheated on her with Adrian. Grace does not seem interested.
Now Ricky is trying to get Amy to go out with him because he’s bummed out about Adrian cheating on him. I guess he’s still not over their band camp fling.
Okay, Ben and Amy literally went on ONE DATE and he’s going around telling everyone he’s in love with her. Somebody stop this man.
OH SHIT, Henry just told Ben that Amy hooked up with Ricky. Uh-oh. Let me get my popcorn.
Adrian just cornered Amy and asked if she’s into Ricky. Yikes. Do all high school marching bands have this much drama?
Now Ben is leaving Amy the most awkward voicemail ever and I am dying. Please…make it stop…
Honestly, I think I like Ashley more than Amy. But I have some serious questions about her wardrobe. Does she just shop exclusively at Hot Topic?
OMG, Jack just showed up at Grace’s house and her dad is NOT happy. I’m kinda here for it. But also, um, I feel like maybe you shouldn’t go around threatening to beat up minors? And who uses the word “SMITE???”
Who talks about their sex life with their parents like this? This is WEIRD. Also, Grace’s dad is honestly kind of a jerk. She just got cheated on and he’s here lecturing her on morality?
I forgot how Adrian’s mom is just never home. It seems REALLY irresponsible to just leave your 15-year-old alone every night. These kids act like they’re 25.
Oh my GOD, Ben just told Amy he loves her. After their one awkward date in the gym of Grace’s church. I can’t do this. Help.
Well, luckily for Ben, Amy said “I love you” back. Unfortunately for him, she’s also still pregnant with Ricky’s baby. Are we all just ignoring that now?
Why does the school guidance counselor know all the gossip? I mean, I guess news travels fast, but it seems a little weird to know which students are sleeping together.
So, Amy’s been ignoring Madison and Lauren because she thinks they told everyone about her and Ricky. Snakes everywhere.
Okay, I get that it’s high school and all, but everyone is WAY too involved in their friends’ business. If you’re going to have all these dramatic, personal confrontations, can you at least stop doing it in very public places?
Aaaand, Grace just took Jack back. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust him AT ALL.
Alright, well, literally nothing has been resolved. Amy still hasn’t told her parents she’s pregnant. Ricky still has no idea. Ben has no clue. And I am STRESSED.
I hate to admit it, but I think I’m officially sucked back into this show.